When someone we know is facing a serious illness, most of us find it hard to know what to do and we can often feel helpless and uncertain. Being supportive to your loved one and their family can be the most beneficial thing you can do. Offer to help out and most importantly, if you offer to help, follow through.

Do not avoid your loved one. Be the friend you’ve always been and remember they need you more than ever. Touch them. A simple squeeze of the hand tells them you still care and you’re there for them. Be sure to take the time to call, especially before you visit.

Offer to bring over their favorite dish or watch their children so they can take time for themselves. The children or significant other of the loved one facing a terminal illness may also need a vacation, remember they are not sick. Offer to stay with the loved one who is ill to give respite to the caregivers. Provide transportation to the loved one and their children either to school or to their sporting events, if needed. During an illness a family still faces dirty clothes, dirty dishes and a dirty house. Offer to help with chores.

Cry when they cry and laugh when they laugh, don’t be afraid to share these emotions. Often someone facing a terminal illness lets their pain isolate, help them to reconnect with others. Talk about their illness if they want to. Find out by asking if they want to talk about it, if not, sitting quietly together can be just as therapeutic. Help them feel good about themselves by looking past their physical appearance. Talk about the future, tomorrow, next week or next year because hope is important to everyone and it reassures them they are still important and alive. Bring over magazines, photos or newspapers to keep them from feeling as though the world is passing them by.

Help them celebrate holidays by doing special things such as decorating their hospital room or house so they can still enjoy the finer things in life. Do simple things like sending a card, give them a book of thoughts, taped music or baked goodies to let them know you’re thinking of them. Take them out on pleasure trips, however be sure to know their limitations, they may not be able to do the same activities they use to. Call for a shopping list and make a special delivery to their home with the things they needed.

Talk to them about support groups so they can share with others and if possible, go with them. Be positive around them, its contagious and it can help them respect reality. Most importantly include them in the decisions. They have been robbed of so many things already, so don’t deny them a chance to make decisions about their family as well as their own life.

Equipment

Be sure to check the loved one’s home or, if you’re caring for them in your own home make sure the house is comfortable for their needs. Check the doorways to see if a wheelchair can easily fit through. If a ramp is needed on the stairs or the front door, be sure to get it installed. Move the furniture to ensure when moving from room to room, they are not running into something. Install nightlights to make moving around at night safer.

Ask your health care provider if your loved one needs things such as a hospital or another type of special bed, walker or cane, wheelchair, bedside commode, a lift or oxygen. For other ways to make your home more accommodating to your loved one’s needs, refer to the Caregiver Resources page.  Listed below are some additional resources that may be helpful to you and your loved one.

Meals on Wheels:

Meals on Wheels of Weld County
2131 9th Street
Greeley, CO 80631
Phone: (970) 353-9738
www.mealsonwheelsgreeley.org

Meals on Wheels Loveland
437 North Garfield Avenue
Loveland, CO 80537
Phone: (970) 667-0311
www.mealcall.org

Alzheimer’s Association:

Weld County Alzheimer’s Association
3301 8th Avenue #100
Evans, CO 80620
Phone: (970) 392-9202
www.alz.org

Larimer County Alzheimer’s Association
415 Peterson Street
Fort Collins, CO 80524
Phone: (970) 472-9798
www.alz.org

Area on Aging:

Area on Aging Weld County
1551 North 17th Avenue
Greeley, CO 80632
Phone: (970) 353-3800 Extension 3323

Larimer County Office on Aging
1501 Blue Spruce Drive
Fort Collins, CO 80524
Phone: (970) 498-6807

Center for Independent Living:

Choices for Independent Living
1024 Ninth Ave., Suite E
Greeley, CO 80631
Phone: (303) 335-8682

Disabled Resource Services
640 E. Eisenhower Blvd
Loveland, CO  80537-3954
Phone: (970) 667-0816